Back to my Roots

In July 2012, I wrote this post about changing my role in raids. Looking back, I'm glad I made the decision I did.

I was a main tank for my guild all through Mists of Pandaria. It was fun, challenging and I accomplished a lot. I tanked challenge modes and got the gear to prove it. I made the calls for the Stone Guard in Mogu'Shan Vaults. I tanked Rik'kal. I kited the meteor into Heroic Garrosh. I loved tanking with my boyfriend and I'll never forget that experience.

A few weeks after killing Heroic Garrosh, I took a break from raiding entirely. Close to 600 attempts on a boss really takes a toll on your mental state. I was sick of my guild and I hated the game. Eventually I came back, got my scorpion mount on one of the last kills we ever did and kept playing.

I wish I could say I was still tanking for my guild, but a number of factors caused me to make another role change. *

First, I changed classes at the beginning of Warlords. I chose to level my paladin tank, and leave my druid behind. I was tired of not seeing my transmog, or toy effects and I wanted to try something new.

It went well. I tanked Highmaul and Mythic BRF with a warrior and another paladin tank. I don't feel as comfortable with my paladin. It's not easy to explain because druid tanking came naturally, while paladin tanking is work. Paladin tanking for me is constant vigilance. If I slip up, I die. If I use a cooldown at the wrong time, I take more damage than I should. If I'm tired? Forget it. I could tank on my druid with one hand. With my paladin, my hand is gripped so tight on my mouse that I have physical pain in my thumb after a night of progression.

It may sound like I don't enjoy paladin tanking - I do! But the style is very different from my druid and I don't think it suits me.

Second, there were things I started to notice after a while that started small but chipped away at me. My suggestions or observations were often ignored on voice chat but then repeated by another and considered. My statements were interpreted as questions. If I mentioned a mechanic, people would jump to explain it to me. The tanks were continually asked to pull faster, to move the raid along through easy pulls for a faster night. I tried, for a while. When I told the raid I was pulling trash, I was met with silence. When the other tanks announced it, people answered. So I stopped talking. If I had a suggestion, I asked others to relay it. I stopped trying to lead.

It's puzzling, and frustrating how someone else can slip into your role so easily. I felt like I had to claw and scrape my way in, to prove to myself and everyone else that I was good enough. I'm still terrified of screwing up somehow, and when I first started tanking it was like having a giant weight above me. I do think I'm a good tank, and I do think I'm capable but I'm tired of being talked over, or ignored. I'm tired of feeling small.

A miserable part of me thinks that maybe people just don't care to hear me on voice chat. Or that they tuned me out. Sure, sometimes I can be loud but in my role as a main tank, I need to be heard. Another part of me thinks that the loss of the other lady tank hurt more than I thought.

I started dreading logging on to tank and I hated feeling that way. I was constantly reminding myself that it's just a few hours and then the raid will be over. I volunteered to sit more often, or I asked to DPS - though, admittedly I'm not very good at it.

I feel like I let myself down and I hate it. I feel like I should keep tanking to prove a point, but I don't need to prove myself to anyone but me. I need to play the game for me, again.

To bring this all around, I stopped tanking for my mythic group as of February this year. Instead, I swapped back to my druid to heal. Before I did this, I was healing on my druid with another guild on off nights and it was easily the most fun I have had all expansion. Partly due to the atmosphere (more laid back, but still gets the job done) and the role I play. Healing (like druid tanking) is a natural thing for me. It's comfortable, it's easy and it's familiar. I follow the tanks and the raid and I keep them alive.

Things got very stressful and I was going into raids upset and continuing to be upset for the night. We lost people I care very much about to new guilds and real life. The atmosphere became hostile (as it does when content becomes stale and progression isn't happening fast). In addition to some poor communication about raid plans and goals that exacerbated my feelings, I decided that raiding for three hours until midnight EST for three nights a week was no longer for me. As of May 2015 I ceased all mythic raiding with Apotheosis.

This brings us to right now where I'm healing full-time for Business Time on Moonrunner doing heroic modes. Admittedly, I already miss mythic raiding but taking it easy on heroic isn't a bad thing for me. Now we're starting Hellfire Citadel and the first foray into the new content was an absolute blast. I'm really enjoying the encounters we've seen so far (I actually squealed out loud when Kromok pulls the weird creeping ooze from the different coloured pools).

I'm going to play Warcraft a little more casually and it feels weird to say. I don't think I've ever been casual about WoW until this year. I'm looking forward to maybe just fooling around and seeing the world again and playing on my own time.

* If you're interested, I was a guest on TankCast and spoke with other women regarding tanking in WoD! http://www.theincbear.com/podcastgen/?name=2015-06-27_tankcast20.mp3

Paragone to Hell in a Handbasket - Tanking Heroic Paragons

Congratulations on making it this far in Heroic Siege of Orgrimmar! While many of the fights have had more damage or different mechanics added, Heroic Paragons of the Klaxxi is on a whole new level. With the Klaxxi, any normal mode mechanics that didn't matter REALLY MATTER now. Those parasite casts you didn't notice? Hell, you better notice them now. Aim? Really hurts. Rapid Fire? Also bad. Korven? You better tank swap if you weren't before! The list goes on.

When my raid group was looking for tips on how to kill this boss, we couldn't find a lot of information. There was very little out there and of what we found, 1/4 of it was tank related. We ended up having to trial and error our way through much of the encounter (as tanks). It's my goal here to provide that missing link for future tanks who end up tanking this encounter. I'll provide links at the bottom to the various strats we attempted as we used more than one (and there is certainly more than one way to kill this boss). This post assumes you've already killed normal paragons, and if you're looking for a guide check out my previous post!

Let's get started!

Para-gong Show - Tanking Paragons of the Klaxxi

Kalbeari the Prime has a nice ring to it... I think I'll keep it!

Now that Siege of Orgrimmar is finally completely open to the masses with the last LFR wing opening today, there are more folks coming up against the later bosses in the instance. After many boss fights that come down to simple tank swaps, Paragons of the Klaxxi - with its NINE mobs who each have different abilities - can intimidate the best of us. I'm here to help you break this fight down into a manageable order and to walk you through everything a tank will need to worry about.

At any given time, three Klaxxi will be active during the fight (until the end when no more can jump down). That's three mobs that need to be tanked and all three of them do something different. Some Klaxxi can't be tanked after you've tanked their partner while others require tank swaps or massive healer cooldowns.

The order in which the Klaxxi join the fight is static. At first, you will have Rik'kal, Skeer and Hisek. Next to spawn are; Ka'roz, Korven, Iyyokuk, Xaril, Kaz'tik and Kil'ruk.

The kill order Apotheosis uses is this; Rik'kal, Skeer, Hisek, Korven, Iyyokuk, Xaril, Kaz'tik, Kil'ruk and Ka'roz.

Please do keep in mind this is meant as a guide primarily for tanks. If you're looking for a basic how-to, Evrelia Gaming has an overall guide. If you want to know how to heal this fight (and an even more in-depth look at the fight), check out the excellent post by Healiocentric. It is also worth noting that each guide has a different kill order than the one my guild uses.

Looking back at Throne of Thunder

With the release of the new Siege of Orgrimmar trailer and an official release date for the patch, we're steadily moving towards new content. I thought that we'd take a look back at Throne of Thunder and talk about what we liked and didn't like about Heroic fights in the instance.

Everybody walk the dinosaur!

I asked two of my guildmates - Sara, our discipline priest and Slout, our elemental shaman - to help me weigh in on our general impressions of each boss. Look for tanking thoughts in this colour, healing thoughts in this colour and ranged DPS thoughts in this colour!

Lulls and Changes

Expansion transitions are interesting times. People start to review what they need to finish before they have to worry about leveling again; old achievements, battleground goals, profession material farming and more. So a few posts have been circling about that are listing what folks are trying to finish up before the Mists of Pandaria comes to Azeroth.

Profession Work

With my main swapping from priest to guardian, I had to look at what I needed to get Kalbeari raid ready (aside from leveling her to 90). Currently, I have Leatherworking and Skinning but have gathered all of the mats needed to level Jewelcrafting once Mists hits and I've leveled Leatherworking.

The problem with this set up is that I've recently found out that Alchemy will blow JC out of the water for my choice of second crafting profession. Currently, the Guardian druid mastery is scaling things like armour elixirs and potions, (GC confirmed that it is intended) and with the Alchemist perk Mixology, it's clear that I'll have to farm mats for yet another profession.

The plan is to level in Mists with LW and Skinning, then drop Skinning and powerlevel my second profession - Alchemy.

Filling Time

There are things that Kaleri has that I would like Kalbeari to have, so I've been leveling my cooking and fishing so that she'll be self-sufficient. I picked up a Dalaran ring, and a guild cloak for easy transportation back and forth.

I've been doing mount runs every Tuesday with Serrine and Serrath two guildmates of mine, and so far we have: an Ashes of A'lar (mine), a Blue Drake from Malygos (Serrinne) and an Azure Drake from Malygos (to Serrath). Not bad for about a month's work!

Caw! Caw!

Raising some gold is a priority, too. I've never been super rich in WoW and with the introduction of some big gold sinks (Grand Expedition Yak, new JC mounts, Black Market Auction House) I'd like to have some extra gold.

I've tanked an LFR on the Beta, watched a bunch of livestreams and videos, recorded my loot list and have generally been itching for new content. I want to make sure I'm as prepared as possible!

Blog News

With main-swapping comes the consideration of what this blog will be once Mists rolls out. I originally intended to write about priests and raiding but I feel that once I am no longer playing my priest I won't carry the same authority that I did in Cataclysm.

I've asked my friend Sara (@SerrinneWoW) if she would be interested in writing some posts come Mists of Pandaria for priest related info, so expect to see some posts written by her in the future. (Plus that means I can keep part of the blog name the same - bonus!)

I'll still be here, but you can expect some more tank-centric and druid related articles from me in the future.

The url of this blog may be changing, not sure to what yet - have to pick a good name! If you notice some funky things happening with the layout and background don't worry, it's just me futzing around with some changes for Mists.

What are you doing to prepare for Mists? Are you taking some time off between expansions? What are you up to in the meantime?

A Crisis of Identity

Flying through the Vale

Preparing for an expansion is no small task. There are mats to farm for leveling professions or making gold, there's massive amounts of guild organization and there are decisions to be made about characters and roles you want to play. If you read Kurn's Corner, you'll know that there are steps to take when preparing a guild for a new expansion, and having guild members decide what role they'd like to play in the future is one of those steps.

I had to decide; healing priest or bear tank?

Ultimately, I chose to play my bear in the upcoming expansion. I've been having a bit of an identity crisis with my priest lately, and the more I play on my druid, the more I enjoy the game. I love my priest, I even wrote a post about how much I love her, but we've had a disconnect somewhere down the line.

Knight-Captain Kaleri on her Vicious War Steed

I am a good healer. Hell, I'd venture to say that I am a great healer but it just doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel like a challenge. I think that part of the reason for this is the race change of Kaleri from draenei to human back before Firelands, and the other part are the nerfs in Dragon Soul. She's still my priest, but she's not Kal. This fierce little human with a penchant for PVP and Hardmode bosses isn't the draenei I rolled back on Bronzebeard, clumsily fighting through Karazhan, applying to guilds through the mail system, and tailoring her own clothes.

SUPERBEAR

Taila (or Kalbeari, now) has been a steady rock since Karazhan. She's mangled and swiped her way to victory over Malchezzar, Kael'Thas and Vashj. She held the lines while Illidan was vanquished, used the Tears of the Goddess to thwart Archimonde and stood in awe of the Sunwell. Together we've been the shield for the healers and the damage dealers through many battles, and that will be our role in Pandaria.

I leveled Kalbeari to 90 on the beta, and started goofing around in heroics with my friend Sara, a healing priest. Watching Cascade bounce around, or seeing Spirit Shell makes me a little regretful, but as soon as I hit that Incarnation button and become SUPERBEAR, those feelings go away. I watch the boss previews from MMO-Champion and I think, "I get to tank those. My raid will need me to be at the top of my game to survive and take the hits.". It's exciting and scary but I know it will be the challenge I need.


Does the class make the person?

My priest was my safe haven for some time. I created her just before University began, and played her while my struggle with Crohn's Disease was at it's height. I accomplished a lot with her, and many memories are recorded in her achievements and Feats of Strength. I was Kaleri.

My druid was created before my priest but the guild I had joined needed a priest healer (I was later asked not to heal, but to instead play as shadow). Kalbeari was always there when I needed a break from priesting, and I always thought of those two characters as friends of a sort.

Kaleri with the DS raid achievement mount

When I play Kaleri, I am a healer. I support my teammates, I take care of them and they keep Horde and enemies away from me. It's not my fault if someone dies to a loose add, but it is my prerogative to heal the tanks, so they can catch those adds. Healing can be a thankless job, especially when you do it so well no one will know what you had to do to pull it off.

Take Heroic Spine as an example. My job is to heal the tanks and watch the dispels. It's not a particularly hard job to dispel, but if you screw it up the entire raid knows it was your fault. However, if you do it perfectly the raid never has to know that there is a dispel mechanic and you take away that problem for everyone. You rarely get thanks, but there's a certain satisfaction when you can do it that well.

But when I play Kalbeari, I change a little. I have to be a little harder, take more control and be ready to help the raid as I can. Meaning anything from tanking more adds if someone goes down, using cooldowns like FR to the raid's benefit, to battle-rezzing someone or doing as much DPS as possible while I'm tanking. There is so much a bear tank can do right now to help out, it's insane.

Will a new role change me?

I think it will, a little. I feel like I've changed and grown as a person since I first created my characters. I've always been in awe of excellent tanks, and it never ceases to amaze me how a good tank can make or break a dungeon or raid run. I will have to take charge more than I do now, and speak up with more authority if I have to call something tank-related.

I'm afraid that I will feel a little helpless at times, not being able to heal but my priorities will shift from watching the raids HP to keeping an eye on my own. I used to get really antsy watching other healers while tanking but I've started to learn to let it go. How can I be a good tank when I die because I'm too busy watching the raid frames and I miss my cooldown? That can't happen and I'll have to place my trust in the healers, just like our current tanks trust me.

WoW needs more tanks, in particular it needs more tanks who are women. I'm proud to have the ability to switch to my druid and fill those roles.

Mists of Pandaria is approaching and it's nearly time for Kaleri to take a break from fighting monsters and the Horde, and fish by the gates of Stormwind for a time. The world has changed, and so have we.

Home

The ladies

This post is coming a little later than I wanted it to, but since Cynwise posted “On Revelations” before a field trip, I ended up forgetting about it until just recently. I originally wanted to reply to Cyn's post in the comments but it ended up morphing into something much larger.

Reading Cynwise and Vidyala’s stories (here and here) about what they enjoy playing, and figuring out what they want to play was very interesting to me. I play a priest, and have played her for a long time; first as shadow back when we only did 1400 dps but returned mana for the mages and warlocks, and now as a healer. I also play a druid tank, who has been around as long as the priest. I've had many internal battles over which character I wanted to play, but there's just something about those two roles that I can't quite get anywhere else.